WSOP 500 Satellite but since this was live poker, my understanding was that deals were almost always made

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WSOP $500 Satellite

After the $5K yesterday, I played a $512+13 ten-handed satellite. It was winner take all in tournament lammers, but since this was live poker, my understanding was that deals were almost always made.

The play was predictably bad. Tons of limping pre-flop, no one ever raised without having AK or TT+. Oh except one guy who raised A8 then stacked off on a 764 flop, losing to a set of 6's.

Half the table was comprised of a group of Mexicans who were all friends with each other. One lady was concerned about collusion, but I think she was just a racist, cuz the guys only spoke English at the table and weren't like constantly getting involved in the same pots or anything. One of the Mexicans, a kind of fat guy with a goatee and some badass tatoos, got into a little spat with some European donk who was insisting that a guy who called all in on the river (European wasn't involved in the pot) had to reveal his cards even though he mucked when the better turned over the nuts. The Mexican guy seemed mostly to be messing with the European, who was taking it way too seriously. They called over the floor, who confirmed that the hand should have been shown. The Mexican made a big show of apologizing for questioning the European.

A few hands later, once again a pot the Euro wasn't involved in, some guy who barely spoke English through in a five hundred chip and held up five fingers. The dealer announced a raise, and the European asked if it shouldn't be a call, since the guy didn't say raise. The dealer ignored him, but the Mexican guy laughed and said, "I bet you were the hall monitor at your school. Always run to the principal's office and tell him when people are smoking in the parking lot." Whole table laughed at the fuming European. Still at 25/50 (2000 starting chips, 15 minute levels, shit structure), the funny Mexican opens for 250. I flat call with QQ cuz from what I've seen he's capable of reading hands and can probably play pretty well against a 3-bet when he's opened so large to begin with. Two other guys call, whoops. Flop T 8 5, check to the Mexican, he bets 850, I shove 1600, guy to my left (the one who doubled with set of 6's) insta-re-shoves, and I know I'm toast. I'm sure any of these donkeys is capable of calling my all in cold with worse than QQ, but they'd have to think about it. The insta-call is scary.

THEN, the Mexican starts going on about how sick this is and how he's got a big hand and finally he shoves in too and I have to be just smoked. But nope Mexican has JTs, other guy has 97 for an open-ender, and my hand holds up. We get down to four-handed, and I've got half the chips in play, though blinds are humongous. The 97 guy to my left is second in chips, then there's some white kid and one of the Mexicans both kinda short. 97 guy proposes a 500 chip save. Are you insane? The kid has 2 BB's and no idea how to play a stack that size, we would just be giving him $500 for no reason. I decline the chop, and instantly win some enemies at the table. I bust the kid with A2s on my button v his last BB, and again decline a $500 save, since I still have half the chips in play. Mexican open completes from the SB, I find AK and shove, showing it when he folds (since I'm going to be shoving a lot). "Thought so," he said. "I folded A9." Wow, how terrible to open complete that and then fold to a shove. No way I am dealing with this guy still in it.

Amazingly, he shoves at his next five opportunities, and every time, he shows an Ace. Must be nice. At this point I'm blinded down to just below average, and I tell the guys I'm now willing to do the $500 save. "Why now but not before?" 97 asks. "I had a lot more chips then." He stares at me like I just raped a nun. "Oh, so now that you have less chips, you want to make a deal?" "Yes," I tell him very simply. They both agree, and we play on. I shove A3 from the button for 7 BB's, and the Mexican tanks. What now? He finally calls with AJ (tough spot there, amigo), but I spike my 3. "Why you put all those chips in there with A3?" he asks me disgustedly. "It wasn't really that many chips." We play on, he keeps picking up shoving hands. I correctly muck A9 when he standard raisies the button, and he shows us AJ. Must be nice. Blinds go up again, I shove A3 for 6 BB from the button, now 97 insta-calls. Christ, how do these weak-tight nits get dealt premiums every fucking time? He's got KK, and I'm down to 500, which is only half the BB I now have to post. 97 open limps the button, Mexican completes, and on the flop they agree verbally to check it down and have the dealer just put out the board all at once. Blatant collusion, but whatever. I make two pair to triple up. Next hand, Mexican min-raises the button, I've got 1/3 of my stack in the pot blind so I try to call as confidently as possible with 94o, but BB calls the min-raise anyway. Board is 875, BB is going to check, but then Mexican bets out of turn. BB is a little offended Mex wasn't going to check it down with him, but then decides he's going to do the betting. He bets, Mex shoves 66, he calls with K7. Mex spikes on the turn to eliminate me and collect 75% of the chips in play. The second I'm eliminated, they agree to a 50/50 chop. I mean, they agree instantly, no haggling or anything. My head explodes thinking about how much equity the Mexican is giving up here. Each of them pays me 250 from his half and they both leave happy. Oh, and just to be clear, 76 was not one of the Mexicans. These guys weren't buddies or anything, just live players who enjoy making awful deals. The atrocious deal making in these things alone is probably enough edge to justify playing them, never mind that the play is terrible at all stages. The only problem is that I had to stand in line for like 45 minutes to get a seat in one. Oh the low rake is a sweet deal, too. Factor in a $10 meal voucher, and you're only paying $3 juice.



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